ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE.. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! .... When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN.. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN.. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY.. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.
Showing posts with label email. Show all posts
Showing posts with label email. Show all posts
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Interesting Street Signs
I saw these street signs online and thought some were clever. I like HAVITURE WAY
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Bear Attack in Churchill , Manitoba , Canada .
These are pictures of an actual polar bear attack.
The pictures were taken while people watched and could do nothing to stop the attack!
Reports from the local newspaper say that the victim will make a full recovery.
The photos are below.
The pictures were taken while people watched and could do nothing to stop the attack!
Reports from the local newspaper say that the victim will make a full recovery.
The photos are below.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
A Little Odd History
There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London which usedto have gallows adjacent. Prisoners were taken to thegallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hanged. The horse drawn dray, carting the prisoner was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ''ONE LAST DRINK''. If he said YES it was referred to as “ONE FOR THE ROAD” If he declined, that prisoner was “ON THE WAGON” So there you go.
More bleeding history..
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery. If youhad to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot they "Didn’t have a pot to Piss in" & were the lowest of the low.
And that's the truth....Now, whoever said History was boring!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
$7 Sex Therapy
An Arizona couple, both well into their 80s, goes to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'
He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row.
The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'
The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.
She's married; so we can't go to her house.
I'm married; and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $98.
The Hilton charges $139.
We do it here for $50, and
Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.
SHAME ON YOU FOR LAUGHING AT THAT...
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'
He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row.
The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'
The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.
She's married; so we can't go to her house.
I'm married; and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $98.
The Hilton charges $139.
We do it here for $50, and
Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.
SHAME ON YOU FOR LAUGHING AT THAT...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Planet Earth
I found these really neat pictures on the web. Planet earth is just an amazing beast all its own.
Creative Advertising
I was online and found some neat advertisements I thought I would post. People are really creative.
Condoms and Camels
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking..
Maude: What in the heck is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.
Maude: What in the heck is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Awkward Family Photos
Oh my gosh, do you want to laugh? I hope to not see you there actually. This site has people's totally awkward family photos posted but some of them are funny but if you read the caption they turn HILARIOUS.
I cannot even comment on this photo without saying something bad so I won't. Only thing I will write for this photo is WTF!?!?
This looks neat but it is still creepy.
This one is just funny to me. Gotta love the outfits and the cembrero
Apparently when you go to Alaska you should not drink the water because you may turn out like them.
La Hermana de los Diablos
An old man was sitting on a park bench reading a newspaper when all of a sudden, someone seemed to have just appeared next to him, sitting on the bench.
When the old man looked around, he saw a figure in red, with glaring eyes, glittering teeth, and numerous horns on his head. Not a bad looking character, just odd.
The old man turned back and continued to read his paper. The individual beside him told him that he could take his life away from him in an instant and that he had the power and authority to do it.
The old man smiled and said, “Ok.” The individual in red said, “You are beneath me and are nothing compared to me and your life is meaningless.” The old man said, “Ok.”
The individual said, “I can overpower you, I can ruin your life, and leave you with nothing.” The old man said, “Ok.
The individual looked at him again and said, “Aren’t you afraid of me?”
The old man never looked up, just shook his head and said, “No. I’ve been married to your sister for 48 years.”
When the old man looked around, he saw a figure in red, with glaring eyes, glittering teeth, and numerous horns on his head. Not a bad looking character, just odd.
The old man turned back and continued to read his paper. The individual beside him told him that he could take his life away from him in an instant and that he had the power and authority to do it.
The old man smiled and said, “Ok.” The individual in red said, “You are beneath me and are nothing compared to me and your life is meaningless.” The old man said, “Ok.”
The individual said, “I can overpower you, I can ruin your life, and leave you with nothing.” The old man said, “Ok.
The individual looked at him again and said, “Aren’t you afraid of me?”
The old man never looked up, just shook his head and said, “No. I’ve been married to your sister for 48 years.”
Military Pictures - Airplanes, Aircraft Carriers, etc
So the links below take you to some amazing Flickr photos of airplanes and the military. The cannons and long range missle shots with the shockwave look pretty cool too. So check them out.
Monday, March 1, 2010
A Short Love Story
A man and a woman who had never met before,
But who were both married to other people,
found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,
they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly,
he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,....
'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'
'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.
'Good,' she replied. ...........'Get your own f-ing blanket.'
The End
Friday, February 26, 2010
Landing An A320 With Nose Gear At 90 Degrees
The nose gear of this JetBlue flight was locked in the turn position, i.e., as one would turn the steering wheel in a car to make a super hard left turn. For fear of a devistating crash the pilot had to land the plane safely on the ground without crashing the nose of the plane.
The pilot of this plane had a very steady hand, and is one heck of a pilot. He stayed right on that center line all the way down the runway which is super hard to do under the circumstances.
Take a look at the tires & wheels at the end of the video. It gives you a clue as to how easy he let that nose wheel down at the very end as opposed to dropping it early and having the whole wheel shaft be ripped from the plant. He kept the nose up as long as he could and safely landed the plane preventing a major catastrophe.
RR Crossing in North Dakota
You can see the train, but you can't see the track! This was taken at a crossing near Donnybrook, North Dakota, about 40 miles northwest of Minot on US 52. It is the snow plow train that clears the tracks for longer trains to pass through. Neat video but too short.
Almost makes you want to see it in real life.....
Thursday, February 25, 2010
People of WalMart
Walmart is a beast all its own with its own since of class. Check out the link below and tell me you do not agree.
I am not sure where the hell these people shop but I am soooo glad I have yet to come across them.
I am not sure where the hell these people shop but I am soooo glad I have yet to come across them.
People of the Park
Oh my gosh...My new favorite site. Since I am not one to pass judgement on anyone EVER I turn to my friends at peopleofthepark.com to point out other people's flaws. This site is nuts. I always wonder if people actually look in the mirror before they step foot out the door but I think NOT.
This link takes you on a journey through Disneyland and its many many worlds and characters.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And
Her husband is on the back of the milk carton. Keep reading-they get better!!!
WOMEN'S REVENGE
Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up..'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And
Her husband is on the back of the milk carton. Keep reading-they get better!!!
WOMEN'S REVENGE
Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up..'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Tiger Mistress Golf Game
You have to play at least once...
Tiger Mistress Golf Game
Just point your arrow at the mistress and click. Watch your windage though.
Click to Play....Watch out, it's addictive!
www.atom.com/fun_games/tiger_woods_defense/?xrs=eml_121709
Tiger Mistress Golf Game
Just point your arrow at the mistress and click. Watch your windage though.
Click to Play....Watch out, it's addictive!
www.atom.com/fun_games/tiger_woods_defense/?xrs=eml_121709
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